Tag: same sex marriage

Marriage Equality Interlude

Last week I noticed a photo posted by my friend, Adam, on the day of his wedding anniversary. What a beautiful and romantic gift. Adam cross- stitched this tapestry to give to his husband of ten years: the pattern was digitally converted from a photo. The photo was taken at The Twelve Apostles on the Great Ocean Road, Victoria. I forgot to ask Adam if this was the moment of their marriage proposal.

Cross stitched by Adam as a wedding anniversary gift.

Later that day, Barnadi made a cake to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary. They enjoyed a beautiful meal together at their home in Melbourne, along with their cat and dog.

They’ve celebrated their wedding anniversary twice. Last January, they commemorated their Wedding Reception anniversary which was held in Melbourne, Australia, while this month, they’re celebrating the 10th anniversary of their ‘civil partnership’ held in Bath, Britain. At the time, the couple lived in Bath, but visited Melbourne annually to catch up with friends in Barnadi’s home town, hence the need for two weddings, two parties, and now two anniversaries.

Language, terminology and laws have never deterred them: they fondly refer to each other as ‘my husband’ in restaurants, airport border controls and all sorts of public places. I’ve never heard them use that modern equivalent, the oh so very politically correct, ‘my partner’. Of course they would have preferred a different set of words on their certificate back then: the word ‘marriage’, a simple word signifies a great deal when it comes to equality.

The following countries have legalised equal marriage rights: Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Britain, Canada, Colombia, Denmark (and Greenland), Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, United States, Uruguay. Meanwhile, Australia, once a progressive country, has not yet done so. Starting this week, Australians will vote Yes or No in a plebiscite, a voluntary postal vote. At a cost of $122 million, this expensive opinion gauging exercise will do nothing to alter the opinions of those who oppose marriage equality. Is it possible that it might aid the Australian Prime Minister, the Machiavellian Prince who stays in power by doing very little to avoid disturbing his conservative allies, to finally make a principled stand?

Vote yes for equality, vote yes for love.
The following clip, while amusing, makes some excellent points.

 

Love is all you need?

The day had been planned for months, the invitations printed and sent out with plenty of notice. The venue had been chosen and booked long before, and decorated by Barnadi on the day with long-stemmed, exotic flowers. An old warehouse near the then emerging Docklands precinct of Melbourne, it edged the sea, allowing cool breezes to  enter the wooden, cavernous space. The catering was chosen carefully, the cake ordered and delivered. A wedding reception was to be held with all the usual trimmings. Friends and family had flown in from the UK, Australian friends returned from their beach holidays to don frocks and finery for the occasion. The children were excited about being invited to attend such a big wedding reception.

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The wedding party

Barnadi and Adam’s wedding reception was held 10 years ago today in Melbourne, followed by a civil wedding service in Bath, Britain. It was a double wedding celebration as the couple had friends in both countries. Adam’s sisters were bridesmaids, his friends were best men, and I became best man/woman/Mother of the Groom to Barnadi. Adam’s elderly, courteous and gentle father, Ray, flew in for the occasion, and naturally, was supportive of this union of two men in love, as we all were and are.

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The grooms, A and B.

It was a traditional wedding in every sense of the word. The grooms wore immaculate matching suits and ties, with flowered lapels. After the service, the cake was cut followed by the groomal waltz. Speeches were made, and the usual dirty jokes read out, some involving rings, bringing mirth to the assembled witnesses and friends. Kids danced with their parents and too much champagne was drunk.

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This cake looks a bit bent

Despite the lack of legal recognition in Australia and Britain at the time, they celebrated their commitment to each other with a beautiful wedding, a public demonstration of their love, which is, at least for the non- religious among us, all that a wedding, gay or straight, should be. It should also be legally recognised. I was hoping in my heart that by today, we would be celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary in a special way, and that this country would have finally put an end to marriage inequality. We would then have another good reason to party into the night with this loving couple. Despite Australia’s tardiness in getting its act together, those who know Barnadi and Adam, recognise their true marriage and rejoice in their love.

Last count, same-sex marriage is legal in these countries:

The Netherlands (2000), Belgium (2003), Canada (2005), Spain (2005), South Africa (2006), Norway (2009), Sweden (2009), Argentina (2010), Iceland (2010),Portugal (2010), Denmark (2012), Brazil (2013),England and Wales (2013), France (2013), New Zealand (2013), Uruguay (2013), Luxembourg (2014),Scotland (2014), Finland: (signed 2015, effective 2017), Ireland: (2015),USA, ( 2015)

 Scratchy photos courtesy of Barnadi’s facebook site, with permission.