Marriage Equality Interlude

Last week I noticed a photo posted by my friend, Adam, on the day of his wedding anniversary. What a beautiful and romantic gift. Adam cross- stitched this tapestry to give to his husband of ten years: the pattern was digitally converted from a photo. The photo was taken at The Twelve Apostles on the Great Ocean Road, Victoria. I forgot to ask Adam if this was the moment of their marriage proposal.

Cross stitched by Adam as a wedding anniversary gift.

Later that day, Barnadi made a cake to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary. They enjoyed a beautiful meal together at their home in Melbourne, along with their cat and dog.

They’ve celebrated their wedding anniversary twice. Last January, they commemorated their Wedding Reception anniversary which was held in Melbourne, Australia, while this month, they’re celebrating the 10th anniversary of their ‘civil partnership’ held in Bath, Britain. At the time, the couple lived in Bath, but visited Melbourne annually to catch up with friends in Barnadi’s home town, hence the need for two weddings, two parties, and now two anniversaries.

Language, terminology and laws have never deterred them: they fondly refer to each other as ‘my husband’ in restaurants, airport border controls and all sorts of public places. I’ve never heard them use that modern equivalent, the oh so very politically correct, ‘my partner’. Of course they would have preferred a different set of words on their certificate back then: the word ‘marriage’, a simple word signifies a great deal when it comes to equality.

The following countries have legalised equal marriage rights: Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Britain, Canada, Colombia, Denmark (and Greenland), Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, United States, Uruguay. Meanwhile, Australia, once a progressive country, has not yet done so. Starting this week, Australians will vote Yes or No in a plebiscite, a voluntary postal vote. At a cost of $122 million, this expensive opinion gauging exercise will do nothing to alter the opinions of those who oppose marriage equality. Is it possible that it might aid the Australian Prime Minister, the Machiavellian Prince who stays in power by doing very little to avoid disturbing his conservative allies, to finally make a principled stand?

Vote yes for equality, vote yes for love.
The following clip, while amusing, makes some excellent points.


34 thoughts on “Marriage Equality Interlude”

  1. Vote ‘Yes’ for equality! Vote ‘Yes’ for love! For once I am ashamed of my own beloved country! For us being so backward . . . . thank you, Francesca . . . I too am crying . . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t understand why anyone opposes there being more love in the world – whoever that involves, whatever gender. Wouldn’t it be great if all the energy opposing same-sex marriage was directed towards helping refugees or cleaning up plastic pollution or planting trees or caring for the vulnerable…?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel strongly about this issue (yes!) and am finding it so frustrating that I’m unable to vote (not a citizen). So I’m spamming my social media feeds with supportive messages, attending rallies etc. I will be heartbroken if the result doesn’t sort this out once and for all.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As a very proud gay man I owe my openness to my very eccentric Mother (“Mothers’ know everything” was her mantra to we seven kids). On a Saturday afternoon circa 1967 when all was quiet on the farm she called me into her bedroom replete with a Queen Anne mirrored dresser and asked me to brush her hair. I was 10 yo. She spoke so kindly to me to explain that not everyone was the same and that there would be tough times ahead concerning other children and adults biases and that if anything was upsetting me then I could call on her for advice and counselling. This made me feel very special as I knew I was different in a way that I couldn’t have possibly known or explained at the time- even to myself. As the years went by I frequently consulted with Mum (who knew all the answers) to share my prepubescent emotions, feelings etc. Eventually the High School end of year Social Dance arrived where we were eventually partnered with a girl with whom we’d spent months practising dancing at school. We boys had spent weeks discussing, shaving, suits, after-shave – fortunately before Brut was invented – and who would end up with who. My stomach was churning at the thought of having to pash Esther Philpot in the carpark and profess my undying love to her – knowing I would have to see her in class the following Monday. I liked Esther but not as a snog buddy let alone anything that might remotely encourage a friendship ring. Esther was a rather plump young girl with zits and hellitosis – enough to turn any suitor north. I was frantic and fled to Mum with my concerns. She simply stated that I should be open and honest and let Esther know that I had another “interest” in my life. I also explained to Mum that I was in love with David and we’d been having a “kiss & tell affair” for some time. Mum just looked at me with a huge smile and said “Oh! thank God, Ive got someone to do my hair and go shopping with”. At the time the irony was lost on me! Now 4.5 decades later her words have served me well no matter what your orientation, colour, nationality or spiritual choice may be – get loved and get married. If ever I have known of two people who are witness to this creed – it is Francesca and Mr T. – you two are just the best.
    I love you both for your non-judgemental support, wisdom and friendship over the past 25 years.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. What a mother- she always knew you so well and supported you along the way. This is probably why you are so happy and confident in your outlook Peter- you can do anything you turn your hand to, thanks to your mother’s belief in you all the way. As for The other details, the Brut, Esther Philpot, the lovely detail from her bedroom furniture to dreadful school ballroom dance practice, I can see it all. What an odd era that was.
      And we love you too Peter. What’s there to judge. I read all your comments out aloud to Mr T and we do have a big chuckle.


  5. Its all very upsetting and seems to have opened the floodgates for open bigotry and hateful comments. I am fresh off an argument with our newsagent who felt free to unleash her unasked for vehement anti-gay marriage opinion upon me earlier today. I replied calmly, stating that marriage was a civil right and why should any law abiding citizen in this free and democratic society be denied their basic civil rights? Ahhh… Really beautiful post Francesca.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hoe extraordinary that your newsagent should sprout her views so vehemently. I would be avoiding that agency like the plague. Good on you for replying so calmly- when I know you might have been boiling inside. There’s an art to sounding clear and rational in these situations. Cheers, Lisa.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Unfortunately the polls indicate around 65-70% support for same sex marriage. ( these days referred to marriage equality). This is a plebiscite and so whatever the outcome, it does not carry the same weight as a referendum. At least a strong yes vote will assist Australia with ‘getting on with it’ so to speak.


  6. Excellent, heartfelt, heart-centred -as it should be- article that makes sense -using all our senses- of what so many would deal with nonsensically, heartlessly. I’m just so sick of intolerance, selfishness & nimbyism… that’s my polite thankfulness to you for sharing something so lovely.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. The debate here is becoming so nasty – on both sides – i really didn’t think that would happen, and legislation will do nothing to change people who have that kind of spiteful, arrogant, narrow mindset. But the most distressing thing, for all of us i think, is the cost of $122m which could be so much better spent elsewhere. And whatever the outcome – it’s non-binding!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, isn’t that maddening Jan- to think how that money could be spent. I’m glad I’m missing out on all that nasty stuff. I guess it will drag on since the voting has a two month window. While most seem to think the issue should have been dealt with simply and cleanly, like in other countries, some, like Mr T, think that dragging out the issue is a smokescreen to hide other issues that the government should also be dealing with. Greetings from Berlin Jan.


  8. I am out of the country and have been since January this. I have no idea when or even if I will return. What is important is that whilst I am still able to vote, the opportunity to rid ourselves of this basic human right, political grandstanding and just plain embarrassing Australian stance is paramount. I have set a reminder for 25 Sept, at which point I can apply for an encrypted code allowing me to vote online. Anyone else who is out of the country and who hasn’t voted already, I encourage you to do the same. You can access the required information here

    I thank you in advance!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is an an important link for those travelling during the two months of voting time. Thank you. I am away too but my voting paper will go to my home, and you can also allow a trusted friend or family member to fill the form in on your behalf. Yes, it is just plain embarrassing.


  9. Yes yes yes yes yes, to the basic human right to choose. I agree with Mr T this plebiscite is a expensive, weak and cowardly smokescreen to avoid upsetting the religious right, the bigoted, intolerant and ill informed. Love IS love

    Liked by 4 people

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