When my daughter/best friend/shopper extraordinaire decided to make her maiden voyage to Costco in Ringwood, I volunteered to go with her. She was about to cater for a large party on the weekend, so a foray seemed like a wise tactic. I donned my sensible walking shoes in readiness for the mission. I added one smallish basket to the car boot, and Rachael packed a few cold freezer bags. Nothing could have prepared us for the shopping overload that was about to occur.
My son, her brother, sent plenty of amusing texts along the way about buying toilet rolls in bulk, prompting plenty of jokes about gastro and pausing for the obligatory photo shoot in front of the 48 roll packets ($20.00). Apparently everyone succumbs to these.
There were some wonderful bargains to tempt us and plenty of deviation from the list. What list? Rachael forgot to bring her spreadsheet which covered all the elements of the party, so $400 later, and she still hadn’t acquired all the party ingredients yet managed to fill the car boot just the same. That’s the problem with Costco.
We spent four hours in the place, and only left because our trolley was full, our legs and backs were aching and we were dehydrated and slightly deranged. A desperate phone call was made to Rachael’s in-laws to organise a kindergarten and school pick-up as Costco had hijacked our day.
- I’m trapped in Costco, can you please pick up my children?
Rachael is a funny girl. She found a handy party pack of plastic wine glasses for $12.69 which contained 99 pieces. ” Why 99 pieces? Just to f.. with your head? And what’s with the random price?” Other jokes were made about buying sanitary products in lots of 200, but we won’t go there. Only these outrageous little distractions kept us sane in this shrine to American commerce. That, and singing the old song Moscow, with Costco thrown into the chorus lines. Next time we might wear our Eurovision costumes and carry a large water bottle to stay level headed.
The amusing women on the exit gate commented on the length of our stay and I promised never to come back ever again. They laughed loudly, knowing that I probably would.
The Fine Print. Rachael paid a $60 annual membership fee to shop here. There were some bargains in the deli section but these reduced prices are offset by the ‘unauthorised’ purchases that most people will make. Most of the pre-packaged bulk food items would probably taste ‘industrial’, and these turn up on many a cheap cafe menu, I suspect. Although it was a fun day out, it is a bit like Ikea, overwhelming and just too big.
Revisit the Moscow tune here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDnLIYd0hZY
ALMOST ITALIAN 
It was well worth the back pain to spend a day with you Mumma xx
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Likewise my dear daughter.
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I haven’t attempted Cosco yet. I think I would have to invest in mouse proof storage unit for excessive bog roll, preferred breaky cereal, vegemite and other non-perishables. Would I save? I doubt it.
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rach and I found some treasure. It is a hall of temptation. But then I was so tired on my return, I dropped my favourite camera on the floor and the broke the lens. A message? And did you like the song plant Mick?
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I missed the plant, as I was obsessing over the omitted feminine hygiene product comedy. Bummer about the lens.
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The Feminine hygiene product jokes will remain within the halls and walls of Costco.
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That was an outstanding introduction to Costco! I have never been to one, but have been to a place in the USA called Sam’s Club, which is operated much the same. I have never cooked in the kind of quantities that would make that sort of shopping useful, and these days am very sensitive to quality of food as well. I have heard a few tales of some very good quality purchases from Costco, however. Thank you for sharing that experience!!
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The fish and deli sections were particularly appealing., Ardys. The frozen stuff looked a bit ordinary. As I cook from scratch as my constitution demands it now, most of the stuff was too industrial, But I did get a longed for cook book, a lovely granite cheese platter, a monster bag of Aussie rice at low cost, and a tasty Japanese seaweed condiment to die for, as well as the lovely Brie and some glamourous post it notes!!! And now I must put my feet up!!!
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Great post Francesca .. We don’t have Costco here, but I’ve ventured into a store in Melb. Shopping on steroids 🙂 sounds like you had a fun day!
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Well put Madame Julie- shopping on steroids. Now for a cup of tea, a Panadol and a lie down. II always have fun with Rach!
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It’s quite mad in there and I was overwhelmed the first time I went! I didn’t go overboard too much but I did make a lot of purchases that were…unexpected. But no toilet paper 😛
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Rachael and I read your Costco post before going, so we would know what to expect!
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$400 later and we still have no dog food…
Look forward to your write up when you go car stereo shopping at Super Cheap Au….
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So you have two identities now? I rather liked “That Tool in the Tool Box” but Mr Gasst Row fits well with this post and let’s hope you don’t get any on Saturday night. No dog food- no room in the trolley. I have just been invited to that shop by Mr T. I will be blindfolded- there will be no post on it.
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Hilarious! The best Costco purchase I ever made was a pair of Ugg boots. I can see how you lost 4 hours in there though quite easily.
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I purchased a longed for cookbook, a cheese platter, some scissors and some other weird and wonderful things. It happens!
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Thank God we don’t have a Costco in the West. I may like it a little too much.
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Now longing for my fabourite, simple multi cultural markets as an antidote.
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I’ve never been to Costco, nor to Ikea. I have visions of running around throwing must-have stuff into a trolley then going it’s all too hard and leaving empty handed which happens to me in the smaller big stores. Those marketers & merchandisers are sneaky-clever people! Now I even avoid the large shopping centres as like your experience with Costco, hours are lost in their vast halls of consumerism. I was tempted by the deli stuff selections and the Chandon 🙂
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The only two sections worth going for. Next time I’ll head straight to those aisles and be out in a flash!
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wowsers! Have never done the Costco thing but you make me want to give it a try. (Mental note, take water and a snack or two.)
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and sensible shoes and a friend.
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Costco does demand considerable self control. They have really upgraded the offerings in the last few years though, lots more organic things and fresh food. My problem is that much of the package sizes are huge and much of it goes to waste, which I hate. I’ve been better about sticking to a list, or I take my son along who has no patience with “window” shopping…1, 2, 3 and we are done!
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I will exercise more restraint in future! Although the books are rather tempting too.
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Hohoho, I totally relate, my daughter introduced me to Costco too!!
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The things that daughters do!!!
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I’m very familiar with Costco! Yes, it is a zoo….I try very hard to stay away, or go when I know most people are at work. But do I buy much? No, only the EVOO, roasted chicken, and maybe cheese. I don’t get tempted….I just look for a way of escape!
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I think we were overwhelmed by it as it was our first visit. Next time I will be more prudent. ( if I go again). Zoo- good description.
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I took my adult daughter with me recently and she just couldn’t wait to get out of there. Its all in the timing I think…..early and on a work day:)
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Your daughter is a wise woman.
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The fish and deli sections sound good – and 500g tubs of mascarpone!
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Sue , the big tubs of mascapone were good value. And I have to admit, the cheese section overall was excellent.
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Great post! I don’t go any more, as the few times I went I spent an absolute bloody fortune! But I suppose that’s their whole aim.
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Yes, That is the name of the game. Oh well, we all have to do some things once!
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Very interesting and highly entertaining Francesca! It must be the country bumpkin coming out in me but I find these mega-stores incredibly overwhelming. But, I would be very keen on the cheese, deli items and alcohol. 4 hours is a long time in one store! I look forward to hearing about your next shopping venture!
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Dear Lady Jane, I am also a bit on the country side, so the whole thing was overwhelming. Having an adult daughter just made it so much more outrageous and a lot of fun. The cheese was good, and the alcohol too- but, in the end, I would rather shop at smaller local markets and get the real thing. Four hours is ridiculous – what on earth possessed us?
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