The Mother of all Christmas Trees

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

The hunt is on to find a pine tree to chop down for Christmas. Pine trees ( Pinus Radiata) are considered weeds in Australia: they invade bush areas and starve indigenous vegetation of moisture, nutrients and light. They also increase soil acidity and spread easily. Unlike our other invasive weed, the blackberry, pine trees are difficult to remove when large. We recently spent $4,000 removing an ancient specimen from our land. It was the mother of all Christmas trees.

Each Christmas we search for a sensible looking pine tree in the bush. This annual ritual has become a family joke. Mr Tranquillo and sons head off into the bush with axes while I hum the tune I’m a lumberjack and I’m Ok , a memorable tune and one worth glancing at when needing youtube procrastination time.

It’s always the same old story. They return grinning sheepishly, dragging a ridiculously large specimen, while I run around like some mad strega on steroids, dodging the branches that invade the whole living room, threatening to buy a Kmart plastic tree or go without if another dainty one is not found.

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This year I am accompanying the lads. Where’s my checked flannelette shirt?